That’s Right I’m Here Talking with DH Arthur
T: Good Morning DH thanks for joining me this morning. I hope the coffee is strong enough?
Hi Teresa! Thanks for inviting me! [takes huge swig of coffee] Mmmm, perfect! Thank you. I am definitely one of those people who pastes the coffee mug all over facebook lol!
T: I promise for this set of questions I’m going to keep things fun and light (well light for me) so let’s get started.
OK! “Fun and light” was my nickname in high school. 😀
T: What prompted you and your wife to create a blog together?
Honestly, it was her idea. In fact, initially it was just her blog. I had a blog earlier in our marriage called “Goodfather”, which was all about being a Dad – much different audience, lol! I still have some friends on Facebook from back then, and Julia participated too, a little. But as soon as we started “ttwd” (“that thing we do”) she wanted to blog, to share her experience, and also to reach out to other women who were living this lifestyle. We realized that the male point of view was unrepresented in the blogosphere. Plenty of DOMs out there, but not much on how to BE the top in a relationship, especially if you weren’t “born” that way. So, as time went on, she encouraged me to blog about how I felt about the whole thing, and what it was like from my point of view. I love writing posts on the blog, and as an author, I’ve incorporated it into my facebook posts as well.
T: Who’s idea was it to write the blog post How To Spank Your Wife?
That was me :). Have you ever had that bolt of lightning strike you with perfect, pure inspiration, where you just KNOW your idea will be a homerun? That’s how it felt. As soon as the title occurred to me, I Googled it and found… nothing. It made sense – it’s hard to find “coaching” on this subject! There’s no “How to Spank Your Wife for Dummies” out there (at least not on the first page of results for that query), so I thought that writing a post on the topic would be a hit. The catch was that it would have to be a good article, that offered real advice to the guy whose wife had come to him (like Julia came to me) and asked for a spanking. We still get emails and comments, 100,000 views and all these years later.
T: How many times did you either pass or stop in one of these “Bikini” espresso stands before writing Red Bottom Espresso?
LOL!! [snorts coffee] Ow ow ow! I was NOT expecting that question! Ha ha, gulp, ok. As it turns out, there is just such a fine establishment not more than 2 blocks away from our house! It moved in about three years ago, and for a while, it shared the corner with the medical marijuana shop that was there too. Talk about one-stop shopping! Get your weed, and then if you get munchy, just stop over at the coffee stand. Whee! I’ve been there a total of… once. For research. [cough] But I pass by it every day, usually with my girls in the car. We’ve had the awkward conversation about why the baristas are serving coffee in the their underwear, and as a parent, I wish it wasn’t there. But as an author, I’m sure that driving by everyday gave me the inspiration to invent Dan the Man, the owner of Red Bottoms Espresso. He takes offense when people refer to his stand as a “slut hut,” as he firmly believes the girls are performing a service (a perfect cup of coffee), and the discipline he provides is for their sake. To him, it’s like the girls are more like ballerinas performing on stage, rather than erotic dancers. He expects chaste behavior at all times, even while approving of the girls displaying their spanked bottoms.
My premise for the series is, can someone use old-fashioned spanking as a means for discipline and as a business model?
T: How often do you go hiking?
Not as often as we would like! We live in the Pacific Northwest, which (according to REI) is the hiking capital of the world. And, with the Cascades literally in our back yard, it is, if you can find parking. On our last trip, we made it to the base of Mt. Sai at 9:00 am, and the parking lot was full. That was a long drive of shame to get home again. 😦 My boss is a very avid mountain biker, but he gets up there at 6. One of my goals for this year is to find places to take the family, and I’m sure we will blog pictures when we go. There’s gotta be somewhere, right? Every year it gets more packed with people in this area, it’s a little scary. We are going camping, though! Julia wants to go for her birthday, in May. We love camping. 🙂
T: What did you do before you became a writer? I know you studied computer software, how long did you write programs prior?
I’ve been involved in software development my entire career (and I still have a 9 – 5 job with a company in Seattle). As much as I would love to quit my job and be a writer full-time, it’s not a reality yet. But I love coding, and lately the work I’ve been doing is all website-related which is fun. In many ways, I’ve seen the industry evolve from its very beginning. I started with a little startup company called Aldus in 1991, back when laying out a newsletter on your Mac Plus was the height of computing. It’s a little mind bending to think of how far we’ve come, but at the same time, I take it all for granted too. From my perspective, computer technology has been improving over time, rather than producing sudden inventions.
T: If someone was interested in learning more about domestic discipline what would you tell them?
The resource Julia started with is TakenInHand, which I benefited from the most as the newly appointed (if you will) Top in our relationship. There are a lot of good blogs (like yours of course!), most written by women, with real-life posts. I would encourage someone new to the lifestyle to try to avoid following a standard, and focus on what works for them. Because it is for a couple, after all, and every couple is different. If you do this long enough, you start to hear phrases like “topping from bottom” (or “bottoming from the top,” that can be a thing), which can be a little intimidating to someone who’s trying to figure out how things work. To me, the essence of domestic discipline is the power exchange: the willing submission to domination, often enacted through a spanking (but certainly not the only way). How often, or how much, is up to you. I would also advise either member of the couple to talk and listen, all the time. I was reluctant to start ttwd. I told Julia I thought it could damage our marriage beyond repair, if something went wrong. We talked about every aspect of it, until I was sure that it would be OK, and then we talked about it some more. The trust that we’ve developed through this lifestyle is profound, and I find it hard to believe you could get to where we are by any other means.
T: What turned you on to “that thing we do”?
I think I was like most guys whose wives find ttwd – I was bewildered. When Julia brought up the idea of spanking, I was somewhat excited. What guy doesn’t have a spanking fantasy? I wasn’t thinking handcuffs and whips or anything, but some butt smacking seemed like a fine idea. But that’s not what she wanted! It took me a while to understand what domestic discipline is, and the nature of the power exchange Julia was seeking. She wanted me to be the MAN, because (frankly) she was tired of driving. The recession wasn’t kind to me, and I developed depression that persisted even after I went back to work. She started sending me links to articles on TakenInHand (and others) about it, and I slowly started to understand that it wasn’t about spanking, it was about dominance, authority – being the head of my household in all situations. Especially for our kids. I don’t always do it right, but I’m accountable, and make up when I screw up. 🙂 And now, I absolutely love being in charge, not just of my house and my family, but myself, much more than I was.
Short answer? Julia. 😀
T: Are any of the spanking stories you wrote when you began writing in Red Bottoms Espresso?
I originally wrote Over the Knee Spanking before I started the book series, which has gotten quite a bit of traffic since I posted it. This was the first time I’d explored things from the female point of view as a writer, and it was an eye-opener. What is receiving a spanking really like? How would it feel to make up your mind on the spot about receiving your first one, from a man you just met? My character, Hannah, goes through the experience of receiving a spanking for the first time, and writing about it made me want to continue the story to see where it would go. I didn’t really have a plan for any of the characters, just sort of broad stroke ideas, and then the story developed beyond my direct control. I guess that happens.
T: Does your wife help with any of your story ideas, research etc?
Julia is my one and only Beta reader! I know I should be more organized as an author, and I hope to launch a newsletter soon so I can get more feedback (and some reviews!), but in the meantime she’s my biggest fan. She’s given me great ideas for my characters, and helped me with scenes too. I haven’t gotten her to go to the bikini coffee stand with me, though, so I guess she doesn’t do pure research. Yet. [huge stage wink] She’s also my sounding board for new story ideas, most of which she (humanely) shoots down. For some reason, she didn’t like the idea of spanking robot vampire futa zombie brother-in-laws. On Mars. But what she DOES like are the stories that also resonate the most with me. I am a very firm believer in how ttwd can change people for the better. Don’t get me wrong – giving Julia a spanking is often the most erotic, sexy thing I’ve ever done, and it’s infinitely amped our sex lives. But I carry her trust all day, that I will be the man, and act with authority and, well, “manliness” all day. And I trust her to submit to my authority, which means she has to answer to me when she forgets her phone at home. Those are the stories I want to write next – couples in domestic situations, where ttwd plays a pivotal role. Add a challenge (earthquake, asteroid, can’t find their keys) and voila! One of the ideas she didn’t shoot down was based on watching “Buying Alaska” – a couple that buys a cabin and then survives a winter with nothing to do but… that thing they do. Yikes! 🙂
T: Does practicing a form of domestic discipline help in writing your characters?
Yes! Before we started domestic discipline, I had no idea of how it worked. I don’t think I could have written very convincing characters without experiencing it for myself. Practicing discipline helped me write my characters, and also gave me the motivation to write about spanking in the first place.
T: If you could write a story with any one past or present who would you collaborate with?
That’s a great question! I’ve always loved Ray Bradbury, and collaborating with him would be so cool! Something Wicked This Way Comes is a story about family, in the end, but it’s his almost-poetic style that hypnotized me as a teen. There Will Come Soft Rains is one of my favorite short stories of all time, about a robot house in the apocalypse. Bradbury, in addition to being a visionary science fiction writer, really understood families and relationships, and it was his optimism about both of those in Dandelion Wine that made me really connect with him as an author. I’m not sure what titles we would produce though! The Martian Spanking Chronicles? [Her Bottom Was] Fahrenheit 451? The Illustrated DOM? I would love to combine science fiction and spanking together in a realistic way, and Mars seems like a potential setting. What would a low-gravity spanking be like? Seems like there would additional concerns about recoil, and keeping the spankee on one’s lap, lol! To the best of my knowledge, Mr. Bradbury never addressed any of these concerns. On a somewhat more serious note, I watched a documentary about a team that was studying the long-term effects of space travel on people’s’ psychology, and determined that while it will be possible to get people to Mars, they will be bat-shit crazy by the time they get there. I wonder if ttwd could help out there, could be an interesting story!
T: How did you and Julia come up with DH?
That was me again – it’s literally Dear Husband [laughs]. In fact, my email adresss is firstname.lastname@example.org. [blushes] I think she referred to me as “DH” on the blog and I was like, “Hey that should be my author name!” and that was it. In retrospect, I wouldn’t have done this. Having a two character name can be challenging, when listing your book on Amazon Kindle, for example. The site immediately turned my name into H, D,, or first name HD, last name, “”, depending on the options I tried. [sighs] But now that I’ve had that name for a while, I’m used to it, and I kind of like being “DH” on facebook too.
T: Your blog, you and Julia co-write on it, how do you decide who’s posting when? Does co-blogging make it easier to connect with fans?
We have no schedule whatsoever for posting, and we’ve posted on the same day without talking to each before, ha ha! We’ve tried co-blogging together a couple times which was fun, but generally, we just post when we’re inspired, whomever that happens to be. Since we got pregnant(!), we haven’t been posting very much at all. Sex has been pretty infrequent lately, and we’ve been all about that baby, which is really fun too. I think our readers really like both of our points of view. It’s a little weird to think that people follow what we do, but at the same time, we don’t really care. I think we have enough privacy (I never use my real name), and so far, haven’t had any stalkers to deal with. [knocks on wood] Ha ha!
T: What comes next?
I’m working on a blog post, “Should I Spank My Wife When She’s Pregnant?” For your readers only, my short answer is no, I won’t. But we’ve been talking it over (like everything else), and I’ve got some interesting (I hope) things to say about it. And the baby! Is next. Our “official” ultrasound is coming up soon! Julia’s been listening to “Junior’s” heartbeat (we don’t know the sex, I just decided “he” is Junior), so exciting! We’ve been pregnant twice, and it seems so new and familiar at the same time. And I’m working on Book 3 of the Red Bottoms Espresso series – Hannah’s Discipline. I hope to be done soon.
T: Well DH that’s all I have for you today? Until next time thanks again for joining me, now get back to work and write your next book.
Thank you so much for having me! I’ve really enjoyed our time together, and I’m a little sad that the coffee is all gone. Although there’s a bikini barista just down the road… 😀
For your readers, here are links to my first two books, as well as my social homes.
Red Bottoms Espresso – Hannah’s Training
Red Bottoms Espresso – Hannah’s Submission
Red Bottoms Espresso – Hannah’s Discipline
“Oh shit, uh, hi,” Mike said. He hastily returned the paddle to the plaque, but missed getting the strap over the hook, and the paddle fell to the floor, making a soft “fump” as it hit the carpet. Flustered, he quickly bent to retrieve it and finally managed to hang the paddle back on its hook. He turned to face Hannah, whose face was the color of a ripe beet. Hannah had changed into her uniform, and she looked beautiful. Her hair was perfect in the tight bun on her head, contained with her favorite sparkly hair clip which reflected the soft light in the office like diamonds. Her white blouse was tied at her navel, exposing her flat tummy, and her white bra. She was wearing her red plaid skirt and her white stockings. Despite his best effort to keep his eyes on her face, Mike glanced down her body in spite of himself. His cock twitched at the sight of her white panties below the hemline of her skirt.
“Where’s Daddy?” Hannah asked. She immediately felt her face burn again. “I mean Dan,” she corrected, her voice barely audible. She wished the carpet would absorb her and she could disappear.
“Ah, he, uh, he’s not here,” Mike stammered. He looked directly into her eyes, and smiled. Hannah felt her knees go weak. “He’s on his way to deliver our new coffee stand in Spokane.” He looked like so many of the guys that frequented the coffee stand; his plaid workshirt almost matched the color of her skirt. His jeans were the same type as any of the contractors she’d seen pull up for an espresso. She imagined that even his work boots were the same as all those other guys too, although she didn’t typically see the feet of her customers. But that was where the comparisons ended. She had never seen seen eyes as blue as Mike’s, or shoulders as broad. When he smiled, he grinned like a boy, and it made her heart leap in her chest. But why was Mike here this morning?
Was he taking Daddy’s place?